The ANC's travelling circus a.k.a. the Umwhini Wave or as it's members dubbed it, National General Council, has returned to Durban, the scene of it's leader, Her Zuma's monumental vindication (remember those pesky corruption and fraud charges?). The party means business, oh yes it does. In beamers, bullet-proof Hummers, Porches and a bus (or fifteen. The revolution hasn't been as kind to others as they have to the Tender Procurement League of the ruling party). They danced, cheered and shuffled there hefty bodies into meetings to conspire, delegate, cheat, gossip, lie, pretend, oh, and they also, may manage to actually get some business done (that's what the press releases will say). Then the man himself addressed the masses. he slammed the kindergarten league's bully boss (although not directly. God forbid this happen!) for his tantrums and general petulance. He then called for 'revolutionary discipline' whatever that means. He embarked on his usual arid, monosyllabic warnings against corruption, infighting and inbreeding (no cross-pollination with anyone resembling a white female Premier, thank you). El Presidente also dismissed claims (for the billionth time) the hallowed tripartite alliance is divided, against a backdrop of stifled giggles from COSATU and SACP leaders. If he keeps telling himself that, then maybe it'll come true on Planet ANC, that paralell world where the party is allowed to run riot... oh, wait, that's South Africa. Okay, my bad. Anyway, Comrade Zuma apparently got a rather muted welcome on the first day of the National General Council. What, no welcome choir complete with revolutionary hymns, such as that all time number one favourite Umshini wami? No bombastic roars for the prez? What has come of the party? Maybe we shouldn't read too much into that. Politics is a fickle harlot and the ANC has been known to shift allegiances to leaders almost as often as Patrica De Lille cheats political death. So, the grouping of fairweather comrades is mapping out the country's future... yet again. Nationalisation of mines, media regulation, combatting corruption, will all come up for debate or ridicule. These are only some of the issues which will be discussed (or simply mentioned in passing) and eventually glossed over and forgotten while steps are taken to implement the real ANC policies. In other words, Jules Malema will probably be allowed to pick and choose which mining house he wants to loot first. A sepcial caucus will be set up to construct a sepcialise muzzle for the media. A lot of networking will be done during 'policy meetings'. By networking, read, number swopping, tender contracts being signed and forlorn fashion tips being given out how about those specilaise designed ANC shoes?).Gwede Mantashe will be the one really shifting uncomfortably in his chair. Which caps will he wear more often? Will he be able to look around his trade unionist roots and his SACP chairmanship so as to adequately iron out the omniperesent tripartite problems? The quiet comrade and reluctant head-of-state, Kgalema Motlanthe, will nod furiously and contemplatively at everything being said. Will he say anything? Of course he will. Someone has to ask the tough questions Zuma can't or won't deal with. Will he be heard? Well, he is the second in charge, so maybe a few notes will be jotted down in the minutes. Winnie Madikizela-Mandela, the mother of the nation(and Jules' surrogate mama) is also in attendance, although that's really just for show. The other usual faces you can expect in the 'Who's Who/gossip pages' following the NGC are Tony 'luxury 4x4' Yengeni and Mr. Commie 2010 himself, Bladed Nzimande, who will rant and rave about the left being left out in the cold.
As for the comrade in exile, Thabo Mbeki, well, I actually don't know if he's bothered attending or if he's even been invited. I don't think COPE's top brass gave him permission to go. Plus, not even his VIP security detail can beat back the hordes of his fans in the party who'd swamp him. All two of them also probaly won't bother pitching up anyway.
I wait not-so-anxiously for the outcomes of this ANC pow-wow. Past experience has shown they are usually only good for two things - feeding us journos with stories during slow news periods and to keep the country and electorate guessing as to what actually the party and government are doing for them, apart from plot how to expand members bank balances.
This is like scripture.
ReplyDeleteMoar. Nao.