With the absurdity and desperate publicity antics that accompany Lady Gaga wherever she goes, I had to ask myself if perhaps she had a hand in the recent 'wave' of protests against her tour of South Africa, given her outlandish penchant of deliberately drawing attention to herself. I'm not at all surprised by the reaction of some in Indonesia, when she dared to bring her seemingly meretricious and hyperbolic act to that country. Indonesia is fierce ly protective of it's religious identity, albeit in a rather medieval way. The country clearly doesn't take kindly to the meat (was it Halaal, we still don't know?!) attire, egg transport habits and cancer-inducing spectacles the pop star has infamously made famous. Congregations of Catholic-spooked Filipinos also got themselves in a huff recently, when Gaga turned her attention to their country. But religious protests against a musician in SA?! Computer says 'Ummmm...?'
But there they were, with their placards, crosses, Bibles, condescending attitudes and punchy protest slogans ('Hell no, Lady Go' or something like that) outside ticketing offices, their selective morals on display alongside their intolerance towards anything and anyone who doesn't look like them or hold their beliefs. The four horsemen of the apocalypse bridled their steeds, hell and brimstone loomed in their warnings, 'She's a Satanist' bellowed one demonstrator. One organiser warned, 'Allowing the bride of Satan into the country will allow a curse to enter.' Bride of Satan?! The Dark Lord must be rather chuffed he can still attract such a prominent personality to the dark side. Of course, the greenies joined the queue to vent their fury at the musician bringing her Satanically carnivorous tendencies to Africa. Her meat apparel and proclivity for wearing fur has their lentils in a twist. Although, these types tend to at least steer clear (for the most part) of hypocrisy. The same can't be said for the anti-Gaga legions of the Lord.
Despite the uproar, Lady Gaga, staged a 'successful' concert in Joburg. 'Successful' because as I woke up the next day I couldn't make out any signs of a curse on our country (except maybe further news of the curse that is President Jacob Zuma's spending habits.) I peered apprehensively out of the window expecting scenes from apocalypse-stricken '2012.' I dressed accordingly expecting temperatures to soar as hell burnt through to the top. Nope, nothing. Just more anal retentive cyclists, errant taxi drivers and a disturbingly blue sky. Where were the sulphur and demons? What happened to the infernos? Why were there no horns sprouting from my head? She came and went... and Joburg, as well as the world, is still intact. Well, for the most part, at least.
With the energy spent on preventing Gaga from opening the gates of hell, I wonder if these fundamentalist Christians, so deeply opposed to her, ever thought of staging similarr protests against other bands visiting our shores. Where were the wise-cracking religious-right slogans when those beasts of the underworld, Coldplay, delivered upon us their venom? Why were pickets not held when devil's own, Kings of Leon, toured here? Are the band's risque lyrics (see 'Sex on Fire') not too, well, risque for their sensibilities? Over the very same weekend Lady Goo Goo performed, those arson-inciting, misogynistic-inclined electro-rockers, The Prodigy, were also in the country doing a concert. As far as I know the the fundamentalists were nowhere to be found when this band, who's one song infamously threatens to 'Smack my b*tch up' gigged in the Cape this past weekend. Selective protesting against the universal right to make music appears to be the agenda of this grouping of religious nuts. Or is it a sad, myopic attempt to grab headlines a la Julius Malema style?
Will these very same gospel-haunted prudes dare to take on Metallica when they tour the country next year? Will there be the same kind of reception for The Red Hot Chili Peppers when they tour, what with the band's long-standing logo, which could easily be interpreted as a bastardised cross (that's if you allow your mind to be narrowed into the same gutters of asininity as the anti-Gaga brigade.)
I vividly recall a pious deputy-principal at my high school singling me out as a 'problem' because I listened to the likes of Metallica. Little did he know Metallica was the tamest of all the bands I listened to as a seething adolescent. This misguided educator lectured me on the dangers of such music and it's association with Lucifer and all things that didn't fit his idea of twisted morality.
I roll my eyes now, much like I did then when confronted with such views. At the time, I roll my eyes as I witness Gaga concert-goers trooping off to see her, dressed as morons and humming her songbook of brain-numbing tunes. They do so at their own peril - Apparently hell awaits and so does the scorn of religious hypocrites.
