I guess it's something I should've gotten used to months ago. Lazy headlines murmur for the 800th time in a week 'SA ready for the World Cup' followed by my eyes rolling back into my head, my tongue descending down my throat and foam developing into frothy fountains around my mouth. People, people, people, can we maybe find something else to dilute this dangerous optimism with in the media? I cringe when I read anything to do with the World Cup, these days. I develop rashes and amid Tourettes moments I belch out profanities, damning FIFA, cursing Danny Jordaan and yelping in anguish at the sight of that strange lion/cheetah/monkey hybrid of a mascot for the soccer tournament, Sashimi or something. But, again, I should have become inured to this mania and should embrace it. I, however won't embrace the lies.
So, its understandable the powers-that-be hammer home the message of hope and optimism, mangling words of encouragement into political-talk ('As government we welcome this sporting extravaganza in so far as it actually as a matter of fact from the point of departure to where we can safely assure the masses... blah, blah, fish paste'). But can't they be more circumspect with the language they use. Apart from blisteringly dull rhetoric, I feel they need to water down the optimism. I've heard on a number occasions politicians and bureaucrats state it'll be the best World Cup ever. Really?! Forever ever? Better than Germany, the uber-power of planning, punctuality and order? Oh for crying in a bucket. We can't match Germany's take on the event. It's clear and simple, we just don't have that kind of wealth and experience. It's going to be a tough act to follow. As a Third World country SA should be commended for how far its come in its preparations. I honestly never thought we'd get this far. Bravo. However, we need to approach the World Cup from the perspective of - it'll be an event on African soil done the African way. In other words, it's going to have an element of disorganisation and chaos to it. Not the bad kind, just the non-punctual, ill-prepared, arrogant kind. It's going to be flawed, but only as imperfect as say a bus being late, tickets running out, maybe even a strike or two, you know, logistical and social issues which shape the African way of life. But we can't be blamed for all the looming problems. You can be sure a Japanese tourist will be mugged in Gugulethu or some God forsaken place like that because he/she felt the need to cart an Apple Mac, iPod, camera and cell phone with on a 'tour' of the township. The Germans will complain about the pitches not being cut precisely enough to suit their national tendency towards being pedantic about everything. The English will drink too much, some of them will wind up sunburnt (even though it'll be in the thick of winter). Expect a few Dutch visitors to be ripped off by our ladies-of-the-night. The Americans will walk around, gobsmacked and amazed by the buildings, roads and lack of wild animals roaming our streets. The Spanish... well, they'll just be Spanish.
So, are we in fact ready... for this touring international freak show poised and ready to take on the World Cup? I don't think any country has ever been ready for the fans.
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