You had one job

We all knew it was going to happen. Like the trailer to an upcoming movie the EFF had been dropping hints all week along. "Wait and see" I believe is how one MP phrased it in giving us a teaser of what would unfurl during the State of the Nation address. And so I waited (no bated breath, though) and when the clock struck 7pm on Thursday the 9th of February I lugubriously plonked my body on the couch, turned up the volume on the TV, leaned in slightly and witnessed yet another parliamentary spectacle.

EFF MP after EFF MP raising points(less) of order, impish smirks never too far from their faces. Same same. My fingers lingered over TV remote ready to wander off onto a different form of entertainment, bored by a third year of  futile political brawling at the opening of Parliament. Then came the DA's Chief Whip requesting (demanding) a moment of silence in memory of the94 Esidimeni psychiatric patients who died. A reasonable point. That was until John Steenhuisen pronounced it "Edimeni". Cringe. Place face in palm of hand. Witness just the opening act of amateur hour at SONA 2017.

You had me, then lost me. The entire moment had been wasted. Sure, Parliament's presiding officers could've stunned us by actually observing a minute's silence, daring to breakaway from what was already an ailing agenda. This act could've distracted us from Steenhuisen's pronunciation flop. But of course, National Assembly Speaker, Baleka Mbete, and NCOP Chair, Thandi Modise, were never going to even consider bending protocol. They had to fight back. If you could call that a fightback. While the DA was raising an important and worthy point around the Esidimeni tragedy, the best the EFF's caucus could do - apart from hurling insults - was produce cable ties as they whinged and moaned about the excessive security. Instead of raising points of order on other issues, the cable ties were whipped out several times in what soon became a display of selfish, misguided, childish posturing (more so than usual in a parliamentary context.)
Then came an MP, who I can only assume was from the ANC, bumbling and fumbling her challenge to the balls up that was already starting to gather momentum. Visibly nervous and agitated she appeared to be a novice, and did nothing to show some muscle back at the DA and EFF. This dilettantish concert was now in full swing.
 And all this in just over 10 minutes. The country (those who hadn't already abandoned this debacle) had to endure another few hours, marked by insults, fist fights, vandalism and that unsettling presidential snigger ("hehehehe").

By the time President Jacob Zuma got down to the business of the evening, it was already clear - our politicians can't even get chaos right. With all the practice we've seen, surely a more professional spectacle could be expected. Here I was thinking MPs had become expertly adept at bringing Parliament, themselves and their parties into disrepute, in such public arenas. But even the mayhem, was going awry. Even the chaos seemed amateurish. Even the most seasoned of rabble-rousing politicians were mangling words, appearing flustered and resorting to child-like tactics. They had one job - to sow chaos, to filibuster, to disrupt. And they couldn't even get that right.