By now (the 2nd of January) those misguided enough (about 51 million of us) to have entered into those annoying annual contracts, where we resolve to better ourselves come a new year, have more than likely already deviated from these grandiose 'plans of action'. The temptation of our old habits prove to be too strong, whereour self-discipline is upstaged and exposed as paper-thin. I too made resolutions (mentally, so as to not to set myself up for public derision upon failure). At 12:59pm on the 31st of December I slurred through my lofty list of new year's resolutions (okay, maybe not a list, but I made a mental tally of about 4 resolutions. I can now only remember 2). Amid an onslaught pf hugging, kissing, back-slapping and handshaking I recall committing myself to not being so cynical. With a booze-induced goofball smile on my mug I declared, quietly to myself, that I will try to steel myself against the attack of cynicism brought on by life's many imperfections. My smile turned to a hawkish fortitude where my inner workings momentarily kicked into gear in concert with this near impossible resolution. I was hellbent on seeing the good in things (or at the very least the nice-ish aspects of our existence). You know, smell the flowers, randomly greet strangers in the street, don't snarl at babies - pedestrian changes in my attitude towards life. My second resolution: To live a healthier lifestyle. ( I hear you laughing).
With my new found positive state of mind, I again declared internally to work on building a six pack, to take up jogging and to eat more greens. Note: This purposeful stance was arrived at with a beer lodged in my one hand, a glass of cheap sparkling wine in the other, my well fed boep peaking out from under my shirt. Oh, irony who impudent strumpet! My healthier lifestyle could wait until the sun rises. That ball of fire and hydrogen rose far too soon; not just for me, but for the millions who also resolved, in a haze of over-indulgence, to become awesome, amazing, richer and thinner in 2013. By the evening of New Years day, a bottle of red wine stood empty on my kitchen table, my running shoes remained hidden in the wardrobe (where they've been more months) and Steers burgers beckoned. With this fantastic failure to launch, I forced the guilty to one side and consoled myself with a chorus of pop psychology 'mantras': 'You're only human, tomorrow is another day. Just try harder.' The nausea swirled into my soul. I am indeed only human, as are my fellow humans, among the elite of the ANC and government. My guilt searched for twisted logic to justify my failed resolutions. Instead my lingering cynicism dragged my substance-addled mind back to familiar territory. I focused my disappointment on, well, other disappointing things (disappointment, like misery, loves company) in a sad attempt to lift my mood. And so my mind limped onto thoughts of doom and gloom: the ANC.
Did the too resolve to better this year this year? I think so. Most party members may've still been drunk from the 'successes' of the Mangaung elective conference as the end of the year arrived. Many probably waddle-danced there way into a new year, ecstatic and elated at Jacob Zuma's victory. With their spirits high, many comrades may've settled on improving themselves in 2013. Could some have resolved to stop stealing from tax payers? Many may just have decided to actually get off their well lined backsides anf to start doining something that doesn't involved enriching themselves.
The policy resolutions from the conference could in many ways be interpreted as New Year resolutions of sorts, declarations of intent, where the ruling party wants to take the country, not just in 2013, but beyond that. Surely Msholozi, fresh from his re-election, made his own personal leadership resolutions. Denied the ability to read minds, I can only broadly speculate what these are.
On marriage, the President may just have decided firmly over a glass of his favourite tipple to whoo another bride with promises of easy business connections, an allowance compliments of tax payers and even her own spot in the sunshine that is the Nkandla compound/home/residence/base/kraal/estate. Would his resolutions include anything in the way of bettering his body and mind? Perhaps he wants to sharpen his intellect by actually reading something of substance. He could even keep his reading preferences close to home. There are books abound based on former comrades. Frank Chikane penned a book in 2012. There's one on the rise and fall of Jackie Selebi Zuma could thumb through for a laugh and a scowl. Hell, maybe he dares to pick up a copy of Zuma Exposed. As my high school English teacher would say, "A book, no matter its content, helps the mind, no matter it's content.' If Zuma could maybe pick up even a newspaper (not the New Age) in 2013 he could perhaps enter the reality the rest of the country endures daily. In 2012 when the country burned amid strikes, the Marikana tragedy, a declining economy; it seemed the president spent far too much time inside, dealing with party politics.
Will JZ resolve to develop a sense of humour this year? To me it seems to have llargely escaped him in 2012. The last half of the year was far from funny. But cast your mind to a painting infamously centered on Zuma's crown jewels, which hogged headlines earlier in the year. I guffawed at Brett Murray's 'The Spear' each time I saw it. JZ probably didn't. But he should've. Have you see how big it is (not the actual painting, the other, other 'it')?! He also seemed to lack the ability to laugh when the Nkandla saga reared its head. In Parliament he lamented how his family has become a laughing stock because of the multi-million rand upgrade to his Nkandla home. He should've been laughing himself at how easy it was for government to blow more than R200 million on building bunkers and helipads right before the country's eyes.
Zuma clearly also forgot his humour where Julius Malema was concerned. The little tyrant tried his best to keep his ego on the right side of the ANC in 2012. But Zuma, po-faced and menacing, meant business and sent his protegee packing.
But the president is only human (atleast, I think so), prone to making mistakes and unwittingly abandoning any new year's resolutions, before they've even begun. If there was a glimmer of changing himself in 2013, he too must've dropped the ball... on the 2nd day of a new year.
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