A Sigh for the Times

A sigh - a type of paralinguistic respiration in the form of a deep and usually audible exhalation of air, at least that's how Wikipedia defines this every day, banal act of the mouth. I’ve heard it being called ‘breath venting’’ and while I can’t be sure who termed it that, I’ve settled on it as a far more apt and colloquial definition. We sigh everyday of our life, often without any thought being given to this prosaic escape of breath. A sigh is usually formed as an expression of relief, but is certainly not limited to this. It's an expression of grief and yearning in some cases. For me, in most instances it's a distinct and passive act of anger and frustration, a substitute, of sorts, for physical displays of aggression. The amount of times I've been told to breathe, close my eyes and count to 10 when confronted with aggression (both from myself and from others) cannot be counted. I opt instead to audibly sigh, giving voice to the internal rage fermenting inside... let's just say I sigh too much these days in moments of ill temper. I sigh in concert with a roll of my eyes skywards (a brain scan, as my parents have come to call it). I find I need to give as much expression to my daily displeasure with so many aspects of reality so as to give life and catharsis to my temper. My sighs seem to escalate at around 7pm every evening when a summary of the country and worlds news is visually broadcast to the nation. These everyday subtle, soft explosions of air come in quick succession as the daily updates on the ANC, that now obligatory function of our domestic journalism, muscles its way into the news agenda. Deep breaths follow as I brace myself for an onslaught of mindlessness political rhetoric from ANC apparatchiks. Most recently this was provided by those party faithful in that almost forgotten province of the Free State. As Ace Magashule, re-elected as commissar of the ANC in the province, assaulted the greater intelligence of those watching the news with his 'victory' speech, the sighs kept coming, erupting now into an almost staccato of respiratory attacks. I scanned to the competing local TV news channel only to find an even more dumbed down version of the coverage. Fists wave, threats exploding, rhetoric belching, songs oozing... my sighs bleeding from my lungs along with my eyes, somersaulting in my head. I tried to find focus, steeling myself for what may come next. And then Jacob Zuma made an appearance. He did little to re-instill any logic in these now drawn out news inserts. The sighs now arrested themselves in my mouth and lungs, queuing to escape through my pursed lips. I awaited any sign of (brain)life in the piffle he delivered. All I could discern was a slight air of desperation around him, not all that visible, unless you take into account how he seems to have aged quite deliberately and suddenly (at least to my observations) of late. He too must've sent a few thousand sighs into the ether in recent months, what with Julius Malema, a cabinet reshuffle and the axing of Bheki Cele. Sighs of yearning for a simpler life, perhaps? Sighs of relief? Not necessarily given the ever increasing calls for his head. The above-mentioned news broadcasts eventually proceeded to actual news of worth and purpose, be it sullen and disappointing (the very nature of South African current affairs). Schools in Limpopo not receiving textbooks would have to do. Visuals of warehouses bursting with undelivered learning material underscored the reporters’ voices. My sighs now developed a slight retching reflex. As Basic Education minister, Angie Motshekga, blunders through this latest scandal I detected a taste of bile in my sighs, now clearly audible amid my concern. Of course no news broadcast would be complete without some nattering on the ANCYL. My eyes glazed over with a soothing numbness. Cue the sigh... of (that any news on the League only enters bulletins as an almost 'Meanwhile, in other news...)? Is it a sigh of grief? Of course not! A sigh of yearning for the League to rediscover some intellect and logic? Never! It seems forever lost in the wake of Malema. I could only conclude this latest volley of signs could be a sign of growing indifference in a country caught up in the banality of the ANC's self-centeredness. I sigh exhaustively these as almost every conversation I enter into lands up choosing some aspect of the party's woes and/or ineptitude as the topic. I exhale to sigh to find patience in having to deal with these issues, created mostly through the party’s own devices, but never fully acknowledged as its own doing. Sigh with me now (those of you sad enough to be reading this rant) in grief, relief and yearning as we try to move on to something more worthy - possibly an alcoholic beverage, pharmaceutical product even - to deal with the last half of 2012, which will be littered and