F*#$ you and you and you and you...

I actually hate writing about the ANC Youth League and its merry men (and some women) of morons. Even thinking about the ANCYL leaves me slightly nauseous. As a journalist, every week I make an internal pact with myself to steer clear, as far as possible, of having to cover anything to do with the ANCYL or to even mention that name that shan't be uttered (Julius Malema). Like Harry Potter's Valdemort, who's name also can never be uttered (but always is in the movies) Malema consistently crops up in the media. h
This leads many to believe we, as journos, are Malema-obsessed. Usually when Youth League events are covered in the media, you'll find it's a slow news day or week. But, sadly, we have to, from to time , indulge this grouping of grown up kindergartners, by giving them coverage. However, I could resist writing about the League and more specifically Floyd Shivambu, that ever-articulate spin sangoma of the league, this time round. I'm sorry, but I have a good reason.

I listened with a mix of shock and delight at a soundbyte of Shivambu telling a Media 24 journalist to f-off. The byte was recorded and is, as I type, being broadcast across the airwaves. At first, I exploded into peels of laughter at an irate Shivambu repeatedly telling the reporter to f-off. Jacques Dommisse somehow managed to keep his cool and strung Shivambu on for a few more seconds, before another salvo of curses flew out of his mouth. In the medium of radio, even a few seconds of a soundbyte is all you need to hit a story home effectively. I hope Dommisse himself was laughing hysterically as he was being told off by this self-styled spokesperson. Shivambu can rarely be taken seriously. I've heard him mangle up the ANCYL's dimwitted policies and viewpoints on numerous occasions. Even when he pretends to know what he's talking about, I can't help but smile. It's also not the first time he's sworn at a journalist. In fact, it seems to be ANCYL policy these days to curse the imperialist, colonialist, capitalist media of South Africa. When his short fuse burns up and his temper gallops away, my smiles turn to open guffaws, followed by air-punches. It means we, as the media fraternity, have won, in a sense. By getting Shivambu to show his true colours, it gives us ammunition to demonstrate, intelligently, just how rogue the League has become under Malema and Jacob Zuma's watch. A Media Tribunal for us errant, naughty journalists? How about a tribunal for Shivambu?

Like a stand up comedian recently told an audience in Cape Town, 'I don't know why people, especially Whites, take Malema and ANCYL so seriously. They are a joke.' Bravo, well put. Perhaps Shivambu should consider expanding his limited talents to the arena of stand up comedy where he can tear into all and sundry, without even having to have a knack for doing comedy. He's a walking, breathing joke all by himself.
His shows would be pre-empted with disclaimers 'Nothing coming out of Floyd's mouth should be viewed in a serious context.' He could belch and bluster about nationalisation, how White people are devils and how his boss, Jules, cares about the poor by going on extravagant safari holidays and building mansions for himself. Instead of taking the bait, we could just sit back and giggle, knowing full well, Shivambu and Co. are doing a fine job by themselves of making a mockery of their organisation.